If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
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