A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
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