On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
I just gift wrapped bread.
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
Randomize
