She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize
