i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
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