im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
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