I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
Randomize
