New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize
