I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
