He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
