Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
In other news, I just burned my penis
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
