do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
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