I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
Randomize
