I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
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