margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
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