Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
Randomize
