just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
Randomize
