i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Randomize
