Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
Randomize
