Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
Randomize
