you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
Randomize
