I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
Randomize
