Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
Randomize
