420 ftw
i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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