I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
Randomize
