Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
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