if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
Randomize
