he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
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