All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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