Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
