it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
