I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
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