I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
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