My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
I woke up to an email from Groupon for 3 laser lipo treatments...on Valentine's Day...way to kick me when I'm down Groupon.
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
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