yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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