I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
Randomize
