wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
Are these your boobs on my camera?
Randomize
