we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
Randomize
