Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Randomize
