I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
