we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
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