My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
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