I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
Randomize
