Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
she pinky promised me she was 18
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
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