3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
Randomize
