i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
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