things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
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