She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
Randomize
