respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
Randomize
