last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
i out mim tonsoeep
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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