we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
Randomize
